It is amazing what I will do to avoid editing a journal submission.
You know, I haven't done this very much - I just submitted my first original manuscript, and I have a review article (which apparently counts for very little in the academic world) in the works. But that original submission? I simply cannot look at it anymore. The idea that they will probably send it back for revisions makes me very slightly ill.
I'm supposed to take some hours today and work on a different article. But I'd so much rather just sit around and think of cool things to study than actually (1) study them or (2) write about studying them. I believe this is a common condition.
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Hey, The Bearded Economist [TBE] has a job! Hurray for him!
This is totally what we wanted, and a privilege in these economic times. But we are also adjusting. Someone said to me yesterday: "You used to live money-poor, now you have to live time-poor". Actually, not true. We have always lived time-poor; the downside to our long training has been that for the most part we didn't have the time OR the money. The upside to that is that the infrastructure is all there - the kids have had no change in daycare, the household stuff is already as automated as I can make it, and if it can be outsourced, I sent it out a long time ago.
What we're lacking right now is really flexibility. The last day before TBE started work, Dav had some sort of wheeziness at school. TBE picked him up, nebulized him, took him to the pediatrician appointment I made on my office phone while on my cell phone, instructing the teacher about how to count a respiratory rate.*
This is basically my new nightmare scenario, a sick child who needs to be picked up (and assessed) urgently. I know that if we had to, clearly one (or both) of us would leave work. But because of this, I have gotten worked up when TBE is not IMMEDIATELY responsive by email/text/phone (which is, you know, actually reasonable) because what if school called him instead of me with a sick kid and couldn't get through? And what if it was a really sick kid? And what if, what if, what if?
Given that we have three kids, this sort of scenario has not actually happened that often. I have kind practice partners and some research/didactic time that grants a bit more room for breathing, if I had to leave. And TBE was very clear with the job that he has responsibilities at home, and they were very understanding.
But (especially given our terrible adventures this past autumn), I spend a lot of time strategizing about these unexpected illnesses and sort of ineffectually worrying about it. Some of it is leftover-slash-now-permanent anxiety, but some of it is legitimate, as last week's asthma adventure showed us.
Thoughts? Strategies? I know that Cloud of Wandering Scientist has dealt with this a lot (and without a nanny/babysitter) - anyone else?
*I really thought he had grown out of his proto-asthma. I was wrong. Now everyone has been oriented about Signs and Symptoms and When To Call 911. He's fine, although it took a LONG time for the wheeziness to resolve. Why yes, I am still a bit freaked out.
Ooh, congrats to TBE and I'm sorry about the stress and concerns.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't really address your question (quite the contrary) but it is only very recently that we even imagine people might be accessible in an instant. My husband and I both go places where we do not have cell phone coverage and although I sort of try to have backup strategies for these circumstances, we don't really really (except in the way that people had such strategies back before we had cellphones and emails).
I don't know what the solution is, but the problem has been with us forever.
I might have said this to you in person, but I'd hire a nanny/housekeeper. Have Mn in school/daycare till 3, have the babies in daycare till noon, then home to nap. She or he is home in the morning without the kids and does laundry, errands, dinner prep. This way you and/or the BE can get home at 6 to dinner ready, kids home. And if someone is sick, she's backup. If she's sick, talk to the daycare about kids staying longer as backup. I know- it's the maximally expensive solution, and not perfect, but I think you need one more grown up body to make this less stressful!
ReplyDeleteDear unknown,
DeleteWould you mind emailing me and making yourself known? Because I would love some help making this completely-worth-all-the-money solution a reality.
Thanks,
C
We're facing a different transition but similar concerns this year. We currently live in a small apartment in a close suburb. My husband has a thirty-minute commute by Métro (which is pretty much a hop, skip and a jump of a commute by Parisian standards) and our back-up is my retired in-laws who live exactly five minutes away by foot. We just made an offer on a much bigger place in a suburb that's a great deal farther out.
ReplyDeleteNow, my commute will be considerably shortened, from 1-1:15 by two trains and two buses to 30 minutes (assuming I buy a car) or 40 minutes (if I stick with public transportation). But no backup. And my husband will be quite far away suddenly. And public transportation doesn't work so well in the middle of the day, just when you might need it to. And and and... add in that I will be going back to work full-time in September and our daughter may or may not be potty trained in time to start nursery school.
So I'm stressing about it a lot, but I've decided that the worst part of the stress is probably the anticipation. What I'll try and do is just be very strict about my schedule constraints with my employer (which I'm lucky enough to be able to do) and perhaps hire someone to pick up the kids after school. Our daughter is currently sharing a nanny with a local family and we'll have to figure out if we want a similar arrangement (and find a new nanny, most likely, alas!). We're lucky that childcare is highly subsidized in France, so we can afford this. Maybe the same person will be able to look after our son after school as well.
We'll figure it out, but wow, I do understand your stress.
I don't know the answer- what we really need, those of us with two jobs and no nearby grandparents, is a network of adopted grandparents, aunts/uncles, who can help out in a pinch. But that takes years to build, and of course those people are all busy too.
ReplyDeleteI do want to commiserate, though. I too will do anything to avoid editing/revising journal submissions. :)
We luckily live in a really small town and my husband is not quite back into full time work but heading that way. We are currently building our village to help raise our children. We are always on the look out for adopted grandparents- I know that it is a two way relationship as those we've adopted in the past in other towns love their involvement with our kids, and I am learning to ask for help. People actually like being asked and helping where they can. Next week I will be a single, full time working Dr Mum while my husband flies a few thousand kms away for study... and this has accelerated the process. I'll be dropping my school kid off to friends places before school so I can make the daycare run and still get to work on time and I'll have to ask for help with my on call days and pick ups. We are building a network of paid babysitters too to help out including for regular date nights, because amongst all the logistics there is a real risk you forget about your relationship with the other maker of these beautiful babies who have created the logistical challenge.
ReplyDeleteI don't think any answer is simple, but a simple life...would that not be a little boring?